Fast Forward A Few Hours

In this episode, Margaret continues with a real-time reflection from her journal during her family’s transition from Florida to Oklahoma. The morning begins in quiet time, anchored in Proverbs 3:5–6, asking God for guidance, grace, and direction — and leaving strengthened, confident that God has her family covered.

But fast forward a few hours, and trust begins to shift from God to the things of this world.

This episode is an honest look at how quickly we can forget God’s promises — and yet, how faithfully He remains present, steady, and near even in our moments of doubt.

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Transcript

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Hello and welcome to this week's episode of Girl Live Love Be. I am the one and only Margaret Smith Williams, and I'm just on this journey to live right, love right, and be right. If you're tuning in for the first time, I just like to say welcome. I'm honored that you would take the time out of your day just to listen to me talk about my life and my experiences. And if this is not your first time, hey girl, welcome back. Thank you for just rocking with me and being consistent and listening to the episodes and liking and sharing and sharing your comments. I really appreciate you. So for the past few episodes, we've been on this journey recounting my family's transition from South Florida to Oklahoma through my lens and my experiences. And this week, I want to visit another journal entry that I had from March 25th, 2025. This was like nine days before my family left South Florida. The time step on the journal entry was about 8:25 a.m. So you guys know I love the 90s. In your mind, I need you to cue the Moesha music, you know, the dear diary theme music that she plays at the beginning of the show. And I'm gonna start reading the entry. Here goes. This morning, I'm in a hurry to go and pick up my car. As I'm sitting here waiting for my car to be washed, I hear Proverbs 3, 5, and 6 in my spirit. The International Children's Bible version, this is the one that I wrote in the entry. It says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will give you success. Don't depend on your own wisdom. Respect the Lord and refuse to do wrong. Then your body will be healthy and your bones will be strong. And then on the next part of this journal entry, I also wrote the English or the easy English version. And it says, Trust in the Lord completely. Do not think that you understand things well enough for yourself. Whatever you are doing, remember that the Lord is with you. Then He will show you the right way to go. Do not think that you are already wise enough. Obey the Lord and refuse to do evil things. If you do that, it will make you healthy and strong. The journal entry continues with me just talking out loud. Well, not talking out loud, but writing, you know, my conversation with God. And it says, Father, we are coming down to the last few days, and I need you even more than we first started this process. I need your voice, I need your guidance, I need your assurance, I need your will. Even more today. I need your strength, I need your grace, I need your love, I need your peace, I need your hand. I need it even more today, even more now than when we first started this process. You've been so kind and gracious, so faithful. And I just want to say thank you. I could not have done this without you. It's like the song says, Never would have made it. Y'all didn't think I was gonna say it, but in my mind, when I'm writing journal entries, like I'm singing, like I'm singing the the song in the journal. But I actually sound like really good. In real life, I sound mediocre, but in my journals, I sound like real, real good. Okay, I'm gonna keep reading. It reads, As we enter into this final week, Holy Spirit, do this like only you can. Grant closure like only you can. Do the things that only you can. Seal the closing of this chapter with the beauty that only you can. Continue mending our hearts together. Mend Jelani, Ayana, Jordan, and I together. Knit our hearts in your unity and in your love. Knit us in your love. Give me the grace, the wisdom, and the kindness to be patient within. Father, I thank you for the Holy Spirit who has led me to this point in my life. When I think about all the places you've taken me, the people that you've allowed me to meet, I'm grateful. Thank you, God. Father, as you take me into this next season, I don't expect anything less. Keep leading me. Keep speaking to me, keep walking beside me. If I remember this day clearly, I was at the dealership picking up my car because my mom and dad wanted to ensure that my car was serviced before we left South Florida. And whoever says that parents stop being parents when you become an adult, they lied. Because my parents, my godparents, my husband's parents, they still be parenting. And at my big age of 41, I welcome it and I need it most times. And I think as an adult, like we think about all the things you need as a kid, but as an adult, like I need all the support, all the guidance, all the prayer, all the love and I can get. This life has like so many winding roads, and it's dangerous and ungodly to be out there on your own without support, without a village, without a community. So listen, parents, godparents, in-laws, y'all keep looking out for me in my best interests. I am grateful. I welcome it. I need it. Thank you very much. And I pray that when my kids become adults, that my husband and I can give them the same support and love and care that we are receiving as adults. Um, because no matter how old your kids are, they're still your kids and they still need you. But I remember sitting in the dealership waiting and writing this entry and just feeling just as desperate for God's guidance, wisdom, and presence, and even his hand. I was just desperate, just as desperate in that moment as I was seven months prior when I began seeking God about our family's next move. I never want to get to a place that I feel like I don't need God's presence in my life. I always want to remain in a place where God is like the absolute necessity. He's not an option, but he's a necessity. And this is one of the reasons I think I talked about this last week, that's why I start every morning in prayer. Because it reminds me that before I start this day, before I make decisions, before I answer emails, before I respond to texts, before I place my feet on the ground to get out my bed, that I need God. And without him, none of this is possible. Dependence on God is my lifeline. Like I need to be in him. It's got to be through him. I live in him, I move, and I have my being. Because outside of him, it just doesn't work. I can't speak for anybody else, but I don't want a life without God. Y'all can have that. It's negative zero stars. Do not recommend, will not pass, go and collect$200. Um, and I'm too scary to go to jail. I can't fight. I'm also not made to last through the tribulation period. Like, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna stick with Jesus. Rapture me, Jesus. I cannot be left behind. No, ma'am, no, sir. I need to be in a number. And so when I was writing this entry and I'm sitting in this dealership, it was literally like me saying, God, I need you. I know that I needed you then, but I need you just as much today as I did then. When I'm sitting in the dealership, I knew that even though so much progress had been made preparing for the transition to Oklahoma, right now we are probably in this the entry was written in March. We really started this prog this process really actively, like October, October of 2024. So November, December, January, February, March. So we're like in in month five, I think it is, when I'm writing this journal entry. And I knew that I needed God, and I knew that I needed all of his power and his might to finish the last nine days strong. And not just to finish strong, meaning like to complete everything and to get out of there, but to finish strong and make sure that my body, my mind, my heart, and my spirit were intact. Like I needed the Holy Spirit to help me close this chapter of my life and enter into the new chapter in a pure heart space. I needed the Holy Spirit to help me not to fall apart because I was like teetering on the edge, y'all, like just teetering, tottering back and forth on the edge. And I was not only physically and mentally tired, but emotionally, I was just very, very exhausted. I also knew that I would need the Lord to sustain and stabilize my family. Like we were about to enter into unknown territory and move across the country, not really knowing many people or knowing anything or knowing what was next, leaving everything that we've ever known as a family unit behind. Like our family was built in South Florida from its inception. Like we were, this is where we were. That's the only thing that we've known. And our family had never done anything so big. If I'm honest, this move had to be placed in the hand and the care of God because it really did have the ability to either make my marriage, break my marriage, to really disrupt my kids. It had the ability to really impact my entire family unit. It could be for the good or it could be for the bad. And the only one that I know that could that I knew that could hold it all together and to make it beautiful was was God. As smart as I pretend to be, because I'm smart, but God is smarter. Um and as good as I am about holding things together and making things work and operationally running things and seeing an a beginning and an end and putting the pieces together, I couldn't hold that together. Like I couldn't hold anyone together. I had done that for so long, and I didn't want that job anymore. And if I'm honest, at that moment I was probably barely holding myself together at that time, but I knew that I needed God to be in the middle, and I needed him to hold all the things together, and I didn't need him to just hold them together, like I wanted God to handle them with care. He was like the only source of strength, the only everything in the middle of this transition. Like he formed our family at the beginning and he could see our family's end. And I knew that I needed him to be with me, to be with us, and to be right there in the middle. The service team finished washing my car and I grabbed my keys and I felt a sense of peace, like in a renewed security that God had us. That God still had me. Even though I was feeling a little like, okay, God, I'm a little tired. You sure we almost had the end? I'm dragging literally. But I had this renewed sense that God still had me. And just as a scripture, like the Holy Spirit had me to read that morning in Proverbs, I just had to remember, continue remembering like that God was in all the things, and that if I continue trusting him, he has it all under control, even the things that I couldn't see, even the things I didn't understand. Now, let's fast forward to a few hours later. Same day now. I went to the the dealership that morning. I think the entry was like at 8:30, 8:30 that morning, sometime that morning. But this is a few hours later. The same day, my husband and I received like some unexpected financial news that literally stopped us in our tracks. And I'm talking about unexpected, jaw dropping, heart sinking, tears flowing, four sets of zeros, financial news. And the security and the trust that I had that morning at the dealership quickly went from 10 to a 0.5. Y'all, I forgot all about Proverbs 3 and 5 and the conversation that I had with the Lord at the dealership. Like that, that news kind of just had me rocking back and forth. Like it made me feel unsteady, it made me feel insecure, and it spotlighted honestly how quickly my reliance and my stability shifted from being in God to what I could understand or what what I was experiencing in the natural. I was like in full-blown panic mode. Like, not on like I need a brown paper bag, take me out in the stretcher panic mode, but I was definitely on an off-white tan paper bag. Like, find me a lap cloth, take me to the king, don't have much to bring, my heart is torn to pieces, lay me at the throne, like on that on that end of the panic mode. And the funny thing is, I was just singing total praise a few days prior. Like, you are the source of my strength, you are the strength of my life. And in that moment, when I received that note, that news, like I was shaking in my boots. I was putting my security and God on the backburn in the back burner. In that moment, I had forgotten that we were literally moving a whole family across the country, house in boxes, car shipments arranged, accounts scheduled to be closed, jobs notified, kids, school updated, wigs, weaves, and all hair alternatives packed, taped, sealed, signed, delivered. Like one way flights book, movers on the way. And in that moment of hearing that financial news, I had forgotten all about the sovereignty and stability of God. I had forgotten that my soul security cannot lie in money, houses, and earthly possessions. That like Maverick City says, Christ is my firm family. I forgot about all about that. It's like I forgot that I was not following my own plans, that I was not out here on the limb just doing things in my own will or desires. I forgot that I was really following the voice of the Almighty God. I forgot that I was not my own. I forgot that I was a child of God and that my family and all things concerning us was God's responsibility. All of that went out the window. I forgot that, as the song says, I had come this far by faith, like leaning on the Lord. I forgot all of that. I forgot that God's plans for our lives are bigger than financial gains or savings or all the things that we place our hope and our security in in this world. I forgot that God's plans are based on purpose. And it's far greater than the things that I ask, think, imagine, comprehend, desire, or even understand. I forgot that nothing happens without God's knowledge and his sovereignty. And I forgot that that what catches me by surprise is not a surprise for God. I totally forgot that God has been faithful, like through every phase, stage, and season, good, bad, diff, indifferent for my entire life. Like, why would he stop just because I received some really bad news? I went from that morning of being so secure and so renewed and so mindful of the word and promises of God to at the drop of a dime or at the drop of some bad news, I was shaking in my boots. And the Holy Spirit let me have my moment. And I think that's important to note because sometimes we like to brush over our experiences and our reactions and our our feelings, and we like to cover it up with the thing, the word of God. And and when I say cover it up, I mean we just pile it on top. We don't give ourselves the opportunity to sit in something or to feel or to experience something or to talk about how something made you feel. We just brush it over with the scripture and the word, and it just it just causes it to be packed down and it doesn't allow us to deal with it. And so I'm grateful that the Holy Spirit allowed me to have my moment and he allowed me to feel my knees shake and allow me to buckle just a little bit. And when he felt like I was okay, Margaret, now you got you gotta come back to the middle. Like the Holy Spirit stopped me in my tracks, and he was like, girl, snap out of it. Like, get yourself together, relax, relate, release. Like, you've come so far to shrink back or to be afraid now. Do you know like what you've done over the past couple of months? You know how much you have stepped out on faith to follow what I'm asking you to do, and you wanna get scared now? It was like he was telling me, like, don't allow this news or these zeros scare you or shake you. Like, your faith is stronger than you think, and your God is way bigger than all of this. And I felt like the Lord was saying, Come on, Margaret, let's keep moving, let's let's keep going in expectancy. And I felt like God was reminding me, like, I got you, I got your family, and I got them zeros. So you gotta get up, trust, and believe. And with the tears in my eyes and my heart, you know, still a little shook because I'm human and I'm still feeling these things, my legs a little wobbly, wobbly, my vision a little blurred, and with some reinforcement from my mom, my sister, and my godmom, y'all, I put my big girl panties on and a girdle for extra support. And I was like, Okay, Jesus, let's ride. Let's ride. And I knew that I had to get it together. Let's keep on walking because we got nine more days and we got things to do. So that's my entry for today, girl. That's my journal. I don't have really nothing else to tell y'all, but I do want to pray. I do want to pray for you. And I want to pray, like if you're out here following God and you're in the middle of like an unexpected challenge, or if you're just in the middle of exhaustion, or if you feel like your faith is a little shaky, or if you feel like, God, like what you doing? You told me to do this, or you told me to step out on faith, and it's not something else is here just to discourage me and distract me. I want to pray for you. Cause one, I understand, and I know how you feel, and I'm still out here in Oklahoma, y'all, trying to follow God. And there are days when I'm looking at him like, God, are you sure you're still here? But I just want to pray for you because I understand, and you're not alone. So, Father, I thank you. God, I thank you for this day. I thank you for just allowing me to be alive. Sometimes we take life for granted, God. We get up, we put our feet on the ground, we put our clothes on, we go to work, we take care of our kids, we do the things, and we forget that life is such a gift. That even if it's a hard day to day, being alive is such a gift, and it is a reminder that if we are still here, if there is breath in our lungs, God, you are not done. You are not finished. So, God, we thank you for this day. I thank you for giving me the privilege of just being able to recount my experience. Not just for the people that are listening, but for me, God, just for me to see your faithfulness, for me to see your goodness, for me to see the work and the growth that you're doing in my life. I thank you. Father, I know what it's like. I remember vividly what it was like to be in that moment and to know that you were telling me to do something and to be able to pack up my family and move across the country. And then I get this big blow of information that really knocks me off my feet. I know what that feels like, God. And so I want to pray for my friends and my girls that are out here that are in the middle of following you, they're in the middle of doing good, and they're getting weary and they're getting tired, or they receive some news, or there's a challenge, or something that's been thrown in their way, that is making them feel a little unsteady and shaky, and making their faith seem a little wobbly. Holy Spirit, I pray that you will be strength to them. Just like you were strength to me, I pray that you will be strength to them. Holy Spirit, I pray that you would be reinforcement to them, like you are reinforcement to me. I thank you that you will send in the troops, like you sent in my mom, my sister, and my godmom to remind me that you got me, that if I'm not in control, you are in control, and that we can't let these small things prevent us from following you and seeing the bigger picture. God, I thank you for giving them strength in their weak moments. Your word says that in our weaknesses, your strength is made perfect. So we're saying that we we we get tired, God, and sometimes we we can barely get up to do the things you've called us to do. But I thank you for supernatural strength, Holy Spirit. I pray, Father God, that you would also give them joy in the midst of the journey. I pray, Holy Spirit, that you would remind them that your strength is perfect, God, when our strength is gone. So I pray, Holy Spirit, that as your daughters and as your daughters are moving forward, Lord, and as they're trying to follow you, as they're trying to do good as a parent, as an employee, as a daughter, as a friend, as a sister, as a wife, of just trying to do good and follow you by themselves, Father, I pray that you would speak softly to them like you spoke softly to me. That you would just encourage them, that you would just remind them to put one foot in front of the other, even when it's hard, just one foot in front of the other, and remind them that you're walking with them every step of the way. Remind them, Father God, as your word says, to not grow weary in well-doing, that in due season they shall reap what they've sown. I thank you, Lord Jesus, that you are with us in hard moments, that you're with us when our faith is weak, that you don't just leave us when our faith gets weak and when our faith gets shaky, that you don't just push us to the side, but you're right there with us and you can handle even the moments when we're not strong enough to believe for ourselves. I thank you, God, for showing up for your daughters this week, for reminding them that they can do hard things, for reminding them, that they can have the strength through you that gives them strength to continue following your will, to continue uh believing what you say, to continue stepping out on faith. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. Thank y'all for listening. Please like, share, subscribe, email, comment, do all the things. And until next time, I pray that you would live right, that you love right, and that you'll be right back.